Film Quote of the Day: X-Files - Fight The Future

Mulder: [to a bartender, while drinking] I'm the key figure in an ongoing government charade, the plot to conceal the truth about the existence of extraterrestrials. It's a global conspiracy, actually, with key players in the highest levels of power, that reaches down into the lives of every man, woman, and child on this planet, so, of course, no one believes me. I'm an annoyance to my superiors, a joke to my peers. They call me Spooky. Spooky Mulder, whose sister was abducted by aliens when he was just a kid and who now chases after little green men with a badge and a gun, shouting to the heavens or to anyone who will listen that the fix is in, that the sky is falling and when it hits it's gonna be the shit-storm of all time.
Barmaid: Well... I say that about does it, Spooky.

Attack of the Twit (Part 1)

I've really latched on to Twitter in the past few months.  On the surface it appears to be quite the utopian place - everyone seems happy, everyone sharing information, laughter, giddiness - it's all lollipops and unicorns.  It seems free of trolls and the negativity often found on forums and it's not as creepy as Facebook can be.  Sure you get your occasional spammer, but they're easy enough to spot and it doesn't really bother me if they follow me, I just don't bother following them back.

It all seemed great until a strange encounter with a local Twit yesterday.  What follows below is a top 5 candidate for the most bizarre social interaction I've ever had.  I've had crazier interactions, funnier interactions, more anger-inducing interactions - but I'm hard pressed to remember a conversation where I came out of it more confused.  Maybe there's something very basic that I'm just not getting...an "a-ha!" that is tantalizingly at the tip of my nose...my social combatant below sure seems to imply as much.  I'll let you be the judge.

So before I start, just a little context.  I'm always looking for interesting local people (those from Hamilton, Ontario) to follow on Twitter.  I came across a list of local twitter users that the The Spectator (our local rag) maintains.  Jackpot!  So after following some 200+ new Tweeps, naturally I was going to receive a number of follow-backs in return.  I had left my computer for a while, during which time the follow-backs started to rack up.  And one of theses Tweeps began replying to me  Below is a tweet by tweet commentary from this new follower:

Right off the bat, I am caught totally off guard.  Quite the way to welcome someone as a new follower, eh?  "I'd welcome you, but first we need to determine if you are the Hamilton Jew or Virginia resident w/ disposable coffee cup"??? wtf.

I have absolutely no idea what this person is talking about.  First of all, are either of those options supposed to be insults? complements? some jedi mind trick?

And then all of this stuff about a mission statement.  Once again, no clue what this person is talking about.  Upon reading that tweet, my mind races through the list of my online spaces - my blog, twitter, flickr...no where have I written the phrase "mission statement".  But my assumption is that they are talking about the "Bio" section on Twitter, which for me reads "A marketer, photographer, and filmmaker who's a jack of many trades and a master of a few."  Definitely "stuck-up"...sure.


But I sense that maybe this is just a misunderstanding - I'm not looking to start a flame war.  I meekly respond back:

Who knows what's going on, right?  I don't want to start a ruckus before I give Chris a chance to explain.

 

 Fair enough.  Still confused, but whatever.

At this point, I'm just feeling things out.  After the initial craziness, maybe this person is settling down.  Maybe they're just a bit strange, but nice enough...you know the kind.

Ok, maybe not.  This is the tweet that sends shivers down my spine.  Part of me is a bit freaked out because they used the phrase "the others" and I'm in the middle of re-watching every episode of Lost.  And part of me is freaked out, because...well, because wtf.  I immediately began googling "Chris Halasz" to see if I can figure out what is going on here. Nothing out of the ordinary turns up.  I press on...

 A seemingly innocent response.  Let's see what I get in return.

Is it time to start panicking?  Yeah.  A bit.  I don't even know how to respond to this anymore.  And if you're like me, you have no idea what castrati means either.  From Wikipedia:

"A castrato (Italian, plural: castrati) is a man with a singing voice equivalent to that of a soprano, mezzo-soprano, or contralto voice produced either by castration of the singer before puberty or one who, because of an endocrinological condition, never reaches sexual maturity."

Creepy. So me and a bunch of castrated Italians should go and eat at a fast-food giant of our choosing?  How quaint.

Once more into the foray:

I'm kind of a stubborn person.  I really want this conversation to end, but I want it to end on my terms.  A bit of snark here probably wasn't the best idea.

Again with the fast-food assertion.  But perhaps this person has dropped a clue "but your photography tells me you already eat there-as does your "vision"'.  I scour my flickr photos and the only thing I can come up with is half of a golden arch from a picture in Times Square NYC.

Hardly anything to rouse up this kind of conversation.  Not to mention it's buried 5 pages deep in my photostream.

At this point, I've given up hope on figuring out what the deal is with this person.  I am defeated.

Another stab at me.  What have I done to deserve this?  My body of work?  What the hell is going on here??  What body of work?  And what does this imaginary body of work say of me?  So many questions!  Too many crazy answers!

After this tweet, my eyes are glued to the screen - waiting for the return volley.

Nothing.  No response.  The threat has been neutralized apparently.  Is this a troll?  Is this someone who had a bad day?  Have I met this person before?  Offended them?

After a bit of detective work, maybe some answers in part 2 of "Attack of the Twit".

Film Quote of the Day: Sleeping Beauty

Maleficent: Oh come now Prince Phillip. Why so melancholy? A wondrous future lies before you - you, the destined hero of a charming fairy tale come true. Behold - King Stefan's castle. And in yonder topmost tower, dreaming of her true love, the Princess Aurora. But see the gracious whim of fate - why, 'tis the self-same peasant maid, who won the heart of our noble prince but yesterday. She is indeed, most wondrous fair. Gold of sunshine in her hair, lips that shame the red red rose. In ageless sleep, she finds repose. The years roll by, but a hundred years to a steadfast heart, are but a day. And now, the gates of a dungeon part, and our prince is free to go his way. Off he rides, on his noble steed, a valiant figure, straight and tall! To wake his love with "loves' first kiss"! And prove that "true love" conquers all! AHAHAHAHAHA!

Film Quote of the Day: Princess Bride

Inigo Montoya: You are using Bonetti's Defense against me, ah?
Man in Black: I thought it fitting considering the rocky terrain.
Inigo Montoya: Naturally, you must suspect me to attack with Capa Ferro?
Man in Black: Naturally... but I find that Thibault cancels out Capa Ferro. Don't you?
Inigo Montoya: Unless the enemy has studied his Agrippa... which I have.

5 Reasons Big Ten Expansion is Totally, Ridiculously, Amazingly, Awesome!

 

[via]

In case you didn't know, I'm a huge college football nut.  Especially a Michigan Wolverine fan.  Hell, I helped my dad create a UM fan's ultimate "man cave" in his basement we affectionately call THE M DEN (also the name of a really great Michigan apparel store in Ann Arbor).  It's kinda strange to explain this obsession to my Canadian brethren, but I have created a number of converts.  If you even remotely follow college football, it would be tough for you to have not heard about the seismic changes occurring in the alignment of conferences (and if you have, check out http://frankthetank.wordpress.com/ for everything you could ever want to know about expansion).  After all the doomsday scenarios painted by many reputable sources across the U.S., really not much has happened - at least relative to some of the more incredible notions of Texas and the rest of the Big 12 South moving to the Pac 10, for example.  But Nebraska ending up in the Big Ten is a pretty big deal.  The Big Ten conference is a pretty traditional space within the college football landscape and I know a number of the "get-off-my-lawn" types are displeased by the conferences moves away from the Big Ten's roots.  But below are the top 5 reasons fans should be excited to Nebraska usher in a new era in the Big Ten.

#1 Nebraska Fans

Nebraska fans are some of THE most passionate in the sport.  The joke always goes that there is absolutely nothing else to do in Nebraska other than revere the Cornhuskers football team.  Well...it's kinda true and they own up to it.  They have sold out every game at Memorial Stadium since November 3, 1962.  And they regularly take over opposing teams' stadiums (see above).  Also known as some of the most hospitable fans (a welcome departure from the idiocy that are Ohio State fans), I'm looking forward to them making their way to Ann Arbor and vice versa.


#2 Natural Fit

Nebraska makes a lot of sense in the Big Ten.  Geographically they fit quite well, butting right up to Iowa and fairly close to the rest of the Big Ten states.  They are a traditional power, much like Michigan, Ohio State, and Penn State.  They often play an old-school brand of smash-mouth football that greatly resembles "3 yards and a cloud of dust".  And they're not a big city school - the University is king to the area.

#3 Prestige
Adding Nebraska adds quite a bit of football prestige to an already prestigious Big Ten.  With Nebraska, the Big Ten adds the 3rd most winning program.  That means that the Big Ten has the 1st, 3rd, 5th, and 6th programs with the most wins in CFB history (Michigan, Nebraska, Ohio State, and Penn State).  Nebraska is also the most winningest program in the last 50 years.

#4 Games!
The best part about Nebraska joining the Big Ten really has to be the instant amazing match-ups that are created.  Honestly, all of a sudden every single game that Nebraska plays in the Big Ten seems not only extremely relevant to me, but actually exciting.  I seriously can't wait to see Nebraska and Indiana square of.  Really.  But for the more casual fan: Nebraska - Ohio State, Nebraska - Penn State, Nebraska - Wisconsin, Nebraska - Michigan...that's all must-see TV for me.  And then the instant rivalry between Nebraska and Iowa will be superb television viewing.  Nebraska increases the number of big games in the conference by 50% instantaneously by joining the Big Ten.  And if rumours are true, the Big Ten will hopefully move to 9 conference games.  This means there will be one less out of conference game for each conference member - which likely means each team will lose match-ups with Div 1AA teams or lowly Div 1A teams like Western Kentucky.  This is really good for college football.

#5 Conference Champion Games
This is kind of a 4a to the above.  Many traditionalists hate the idea of the conference being decided by a "one-game-to-determine-it-all" type conference championship game, but really what is there not to like.  You're adding another marquee match-up between the best of two divisions within the conference.  If all goes well, it will be held at a great location like Soldier Field or Lambeau Field.  Maybe these are unlikely, but even if it's at Lucas Oil Field in Indianapolis, it will be different than other conference championships since Big Ten teams travel well and will fill the stadiums creating an electric atmosphere.  Not to mention the gobs of money made from such games that is redistributed evenly to the teams and betters the programs of the conference.

All in all, this is a major win for Nebraska, the Big Ten, and college football in general.  I can't wait until they join.

Film Quote of the Day: Fargo

Marge Gunderson: Say, Lou, didya hear the one about the guy who couldn't afford personalized plates, so he went and changed his name to J3L2404?
Lou: Yah, that's a good one.

What I Learned On The Internet: Lifesaving severed arms, stuck trucks, and planned intergalactic explosions

We're blogging in space...

It's been a while since my last educational post of fascinating facts found on the internet, but I promise this will not disappoint. We have quite the lineup today full of...well...don't really want to spoil the surprises so let's just get started.

The Sandpit

Source
First up, a really great video of NYC but processed to look like a miniature.  Using over 35,000 still photos, Sam O'Hare then combined them all to make this stunning video.  Be sure to check out how he did it.


The Sandpit from Sam O'Hare on Vimeo.

West Hartford Man Tried To Cut Off His Own Arm

Source
So here's a weird one.  First of all, dude got his arm caught in the furnace...details of exactly how are sketchy, but, yeah, he was stuck there for 2 days. TWO WHOLE DAYS!  Arm stuck in furnace.  Like...whoa.  That's crazy enough as it is. BUT, it gets worse.  Coming in and out of consciousness, he realized that his arm was infected and seeing as how he couldn't exactly make his way to a doctor or anything unless he wanted to carry a freakin' furnace along with him, he did what any sane person would obviously do - he cut off his arm.  Excuse my language but HOLY SHIT! HE CUT. OFF. HIS. ARM! WTF!!

I cringe at the thought of pulling splinters out of my hand and this guy is nonchalantly chopping his own arm off.  Jeebus!  And I'm guessing he didn't exactly have a hot knife sitting around for the job either:

"...using whatever tools were within reach, he started cutting. He managed to cut through most of his arm, except for some fat..."

Oh god.  Yeah I have trouble cutting the fat too...ON A STEAK.  This guy has some serious, eh-hem, guts.

Money quote from his doctor:

"Said Shapiro, "It's inspiring to see someone take their life into their own hands, quite literally."'

Wow.

Camera survives ocean trip to Florida

Source
Slightly less traumatic story - the journey of a lost camera. So Paul Shultz finds a waterproof camera bouncing off some rocks on a beach in Key West.  He picks it up wondering who's it is, flips through the pictures and sees some underwater shots.  He then proceeds to upload the photos to Scubaboard.com where it is determined the pics are from of the shores of Aruba...1,100 miles from Key West!  Presumably, this camera has travelled that whole way.  A bit more investigation and the owner of the camera is located in Aruba and is sent to the grateful photographer!  Check out the link for the whole story.

Spacecraft Explodes Upon Re-Entry

Source
Japanese spacecraft Hayabusa returned from a mission that involved collecting samples from a comet far, far away.  The vehicle was designed to drop it's pay load upon entering Earth's atmosphere with the spacecraft itself fulfilling it's destiny with a beautiful explosion in the night sky.  Check out the video:

Local Edition x 2

In honour of the World Cup, the Hamilton Spectator does a demographic breakdown of the city by competing team.

And I think this next picture says it all:

Film Quote of the Day: Who Framed Roger Rabbit?

Eddie Valiant: So that's why you killed Acme and Maroon? For this freeway? I don't get it.
Judge Doom: Of course not. You lack vision, but I see a place where people get on and off the freeway. On and off, off and on all day, all night. Soon, where Toon Town once stood will be a string of gas stations, inexpensive motels, restaurants that serve rapidly prepared food. Tire salons, automobile dealerships and wonderful, wonderful billboards reaching as far as the eye can see. My God, it'll be beautiful.

Film Quote of the Day (3 of 3): Spartacus

Tigranes Levantus: If you looked into a magic crystal, you saw your army destroyed and yourself dead. If you saw that in the future, as I'm sure you're seeing it now, would you continue to fight?
Spartacus: Yes.
Tigranes Levantus: Knowing that you must lose?
Spartacus: Knowing we can. All men lose when they die and all men die. But a slave and a free man lose different things.
Tigranes Levantus: They both lose life.
Spartacus: When a free man dies, he loses the pleasure of life. A slave loses his pain. Death is the only freedom a slave knows. That's why he's not afraid of it. That's why we'll win.

Film Quote of the Day (2 of 3): Monty Python and The Holy Grail

Sir Bedevere: What makes you think she's a witch?
Peasant 3: Well, she turned me into a newt!
Sir Bedevere: A newt?
Peasant 3: [meekly after a long pause] ... I got better.
Crowd: [shouts] Burn her anyway!

Film Quote of the Day (1 of 3): Apocalypse Now

Willard: Terminate the Colonel?
General Corman: He's out there operating without any decent restraint, totally beyond the pale of any acceptable human conduct. And he is still in the field commanding troops.
Civilian: Terminate with extreme prejudice.

Film Quote of the Day Moves to "What Derek Says"...Blogger Edition

I've been running a feature over at my Tumblr blog (also called What Derek Says) that I refer to as "Film Quote of the Day" - pretty much exactly what you think it would be. For the most part I keep it up to date, actually posting a film quote (and a fancy pic with it, no less) each and every day. So far it has remained on my Tumblr blog as I actually prefer the look and feel of that blog.  However, as you can imagine, it's kind of tiresome to be maintaining multiple blogs for essentially aesthetic reasons.  And for the most part, the "millions" of avid followers of this blog have no clue that other Tumblr blog even exists.  Seems like too much work to be constantly linking back and forth between the two.  Call me lazy - I prefer to think of it as streamlining my online presense...yes, that's it.

So, I've made a decision to move that feature over to this here "Blogger" blog.  I would have gone the other way, but Tumblr isn't nearly as ubiquitous as Blogger is, allowing me to connect it with other websites (like LinkedIn for instance) seamlessly.  As a result, "Film Quote of the Day" will become a regular feature here.  In celebration, I will be posting Quotes three posts today (also because I was out of town the last few days and forgot to pre-plan some posting).  Hope you enjoy!

Hamilton Panorama

Hamilton Panorama, originally uploaded by dweidl.
 

Click here for full size. From Tuesday evening. Took 7 photos and stitched together in photoshop using layer masks. First time I've ever tried this and am pretty happy with the results.

Shot from the Bruce Trail on the Niagara Escarpment. I'd like to try this once a season from the exact same spot.

"Pop Country Really Sucks!" - Hank III

Will update with some photos/videos from the concert.  Need to find the cord to sync my phone to the computer first.

Went to a Hank III concert last night in London, Ontario and was absolutely, completely, earth-shatteringly blown away by both Hank and The Damn Band...his backing band.  For those who don't know, Hank III (or Hank 3) is the grandson of legendary country musician Hank Williams Sr. and son of Hank Williams Jr. (of Monday Night Football fame...yikes!).  He's a crazed country rebel and can be found in punk circles, most notably with his punk band AssJack.

I enjoy real country music - older stuff for the most part - but don't really know it all that well.  But when my wife first played Hank's Straight to Hell album, I was floored to say the least.  It was like a glass of cold water to the face.  This was one truly insane individual, singing about how he may have overdosed, wasn't sure where he got those pills he took, and that he was going to put the "$%#@ in Dixie" and I won't say what he was going to put "back in Country" - not to mention all the whiskey he drinks along the way.  No joke.  However, if you can stomach the topics he covers (I find it pretty hilarious), he really is a terrific songwriter, musician, and performer with a serious respect for music's history.

I went into this concert not quite knowing what to expect.  I figured he was going to be some greasy, gross, low-life that looked completely cracked out and unaware of what was going on, barely making it through the show.  Umm...more like complete opposite.  This guy was sharp, with piercing eyes that flashed intensity and an alertness about him that had everyone leaning forward to bask in his glare.  Hank and the band were extremely tight, wasting but a moment between songs - which were played at a feverish, yet precise, pace and sounded even better than they did on his albums.  They didn't miss a beat, even when a drunken Hank-wannabe rushed the stage to sing with the rebel himself.  Hank dutifully shared the mic until the bewildered bouncers finally did their job.

This was not a show for the faint of heart.  Hank held none of his crazed-country rebel persona back and many audience members emulated their sonofabitch hero on stage.  But southern hospitality was also in full effect - although energetic and a bit rowdy, the very diverse audience (not in ethnicity but in social backgrounds) respected each other's want of a good time.  No one went too far and the focus was definitely pointed towards Hank and the excellent band members.

Speaking of band members, there were two who really stood out.  The fantastic banjo player was a picture of poise - eyes focused on a seemingly specific point in the back of the venue; a pristine, white, wide-brimmed cowboy hat was perched perfectly on his head; well-cared for facial hair adorned his jawline; his fingers effortlessly danced across the fret board - this guy was seriously in the zone.  My wife swooned for him, desperately attempting to get his attention, but nothing could distract him from his goal of perfection.

The lap steel player was pretty much the coolest person I've ever come in contact with.  Anyone who can split their hair into two long braids, wear a fedora and ray ban sunglasses, play the lap steel with ferocity, all at the same time in a punk country-western band - and pull it off - is the ultimate in cool.  He looked like a Native American Country-Western Blues Brother.  And he did things on the lap steel I didn't know you could do.  Awesome.

So, in short, it was an incredible show - way better than I thought it could be.  Highly recommended.

What I Learned On The Internet: Tessellation, Standing Cats, and TV Failures

Another installment of "What I Learned On The Internet" where I attempt to enlighten my millions of avid readers with some intellectual discussions on how the internet is advancing our society to an ultimate Utopian ideal...or basically what irreverent article or video I came across in the last few days.

Subway to start tessellating cheese July 1st
Big news for all you submarine sandwich eaters out there - Subway will now lay out their cheese triangles in an alternating fashion so one side of the sandwich doesn't end up with more cheese.  This apparently is called tessellating.

Really?  Is tessellating even a word?  I think they made it up to sound like a more complicated process to explain why it took THREE YEARS for them to listen  to their customers to make this change.



First human infected with computer virus
This sounds like it's out of the Matrix.  Are we going to need Neo to come and rid us of all electronically-based ailments in our bodies?  What actually happened:

Dr Mark Gasson from the University of Reading had a chip inserted in his hand which was then infected with a virus.

 The cynical area of my brain tells me that this is a cheap publicity stunt.


Contender for Funniest Video Ever




This is a huge win for the internet. Be sure to watch right through to the end for a spectacular finish.


Lost and Star Wars Nerdom Combine


If only Locke used a mechanical breathing device and was Jack's father and Jack was a whining protagonist that wanted to go to Tosche Station to pick up some power converters.


The Biggest TV Failures of the Past Decade
Clips from the biggest flops of the past decade.  Seems like the Seinfeld cast didn't do to well after they parted ways.  However, watching this clip from The Michael Richards Show still makes me laugh hard:





Local Edition: Skydiving Houdini
Local Hamilton guy jumps out of a plane with a black bag over his head and attempts to un-cuff himself and pull his parachute before hitting the ground.  Apparently this act was due to a bet he made with some Toronto high school students.  Crazy!